A hard pill to swallow...

    Priscilla had an alright day; there was some frustration; but we just kept trusting and believing and we know that God is going to bring her/us out alright. She had her tube taken out today; but she didn't get moved to Roger C Peace because of what her therapist wrote in her notes on Monday. Her therapist said that she was afraid to sit up by herself, which was not true. My sister stated and the therapist agreed that the bed in my sister's room at memorial has that egg shell foam on it, so it was hard for her steady herself without being on a solid or firm bed or surface. But, because the therapist said my sister was scared, the insurance company is giving us a hard time about approving her to go back to RCP, because it appears like she is regressing, if they go by the therapy notes and they don't want to pay if no progress is being made. I think the whole thing is stupid and insurance companies are full of it, but in any case, I think they will approve her tomorrow once they talk to her rehab doctor.

     Everyday we learn new things about Priscilla's accident. As she gets better, she is able to recall more things about the accident. Today, she had a visit from one of her old co-workers, Rick. As she was telling him about her accident, I learned that somehow during the accident while she was passed out  her body was slung over to the passenger side of the car and when she regained consciousness, she was sitting on the passenger side of the car with her back against the door and couldn't move her legs. This information was very important to me because now it explains her injuries. In one of my first posts, I stated that I didn't understand her injuries seeing as though all the damage was on the passenger side of the car; so now that I know she was on that side of the car as well, I better understand her injuries and I am so thankful that she was not thrown from the car. She also told him that after  that, she doesn't remember much, but she remembers arriving at the hospital and the doctors telling her she was paralyzed. She said "THAT'S A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW, BUT I KNOW GOD IS STILL GOOD."

     You could look at Rick's face and see the astonishment of what had happened. He almost couldn't even look at her, you could see the hurt in his heart for her. I see people come in for the first time and visit her and it is almost as if they hurt for her the way our family does; it shows how much people care. Rick ended his visit with a nice prayer, which was one the greatest gifts he could have given us; we know that the prayers of righteous availeth much and that if we just continue to have faith that God will work in his time. We know there are things we desire RIGHT NOW, but God may not intend for those desires to be fulfilled at this time.


      My faith and my sister's faith is what has sustained us through these very tough times. I have said before that I am ok if she never walks again; some people don't understand how I can say that and some people think I am just saying it because it is not me who is paralyzed. But I say it because when I think about the goodness and the greatness of God; I realized he blessed her with 39 years of being able to use her legs, yet there are people who have never had the opportunity to walk. I say it because when I look around and see what other people are going through, our storm, really isn't that big. I say it because even though she has some very rough and tough days; if God never does anything else for her, HE has done enough already. I say it because I look at the blessing of her still having life; of still having the use of her upper body; still being clothed in her  RIGHT mind and all that is ENOUGH! I say it because of where he has brought her SINCE the accident. Her speech is no longer slurred, her short term memory has improved drastically; if not been completely restored. She can pull herself up; She can lean forward in the bed holding onto the rails. She has learned to pull her legs towards her upper body to put on her pants or socks; She plays a very active roll in reminding her nurses of what she needs, when. She is learning to live with her disability; to embrace the changes in her life. She is learning patience. God will never give us more than we can handle, although sometimes we beg to differ. Sometimes God puts us through tests before he blesses us, to make sure that we are ready to receive our blessings. I have learned not to question God; not to ask why or how, but to ask who? and the answer is God.

    In closing, although I do not always practice what I preach; if I find myself asking God why? I start to think and say "well, why not me or why not my sister?" What makes us so special that we don't deserve to be tested? Trials come to make us strong, they may seem to stay an eternity, but they don't really last for very long. When it is all said and done, we must remember that we are ALL blessed and highly favored and that THERE IS A BLESSING COMING THROUGH FOR YOU,  FOR MY SISTER, FOR ME!

"WALKING IN FAITH..."